Top 5 Ways to Stay Connected with Spouse After Baby Arrives

Published: 14th January 2010
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Pregnant women all have 2 main things in common. One, of course, is that they're going through the joy of feeling a baby grow inside them and the second is that they're all completely obsessed with their growing baby. So what do you think happens when mom-to-be's hands are always on her belly and her thoughts are always baby is left out in the cold with no affection and no attention. If you think that's bad, that's nothing compared to how obsessed mom will be once Baby arrives!

No matter what, after a baby is born the tension between husband and wife will escalate because babies are unpredictable and first time parents are anxious and most of the time have no clue what they're doing. Each parent has a different idea of how their new baby should be raised and these differences can cause little squabbles that turn into months of resentment if you're not careful. That's why it's important to have a Relationship Strengthening Plan in place before the baby arrives.

Below is a list of the top 5 things that you should do or continue doing after the baby is born to ensure that your marriage doesn't go by the way side as you develop a bond with your baby. Babies thrive from the love of two parents and children learn about relationships by what they see their parents doing so maintaining a healthy marriage is important for you and your child.

Tip #1: Open Communication Keeps Mom, Dad and Baby Happy

Parents need to talk about the good and the bad and keep communication lines open. This means that if your husband is driving you crazy because he put your baby's bib on crooked you need to mention it. Even if it feels minute and silly. Remember though, having open communication doesn't mean biting each other's heads off, it means sharing your feelings and thoughts in a kind manner. Consider having a scheduled weekly "talk" session with your spouse where you openly discuss your feelings about being new parents, how you're raising your child, what you think needs to be done better, discussing your parenting differences and even talk about your likes and dislikes of the baby furniture you've chosen for the nursery. This way you know where you each stand and can air your frustrations in a kind and caring environment. Many couples get so wrapped up in their anxiety from having a baby that they push their negative feelings deep inside, walking around the house in a huff, feeling tired and resentful and everyone suffers. This doesn't have to be the case if you agree to keep communication flowing.

Tip #2: A Hug a Day Keeps Bitterness Away

A hug can sometimes have magical powers to melt away barriers and frustrations, so hug often. Remember that you and your spouse are both going through a huge change and you'll both need to adapt to the new pressures and duties of having a baby in the home. If you notice that your spouse seems a little irritable, why not walk up and give your mate a nice kiss on the cheek and a gentle hug. You'll be amazed at how much better you both will feel when you share a loving hug in the midst of "new parent" chaos!

Tip #3: A Monthly Date Night Keeps Romance in the Air

Make sure to line up some babysitters so you and your spouse can enjoy a night out at least once a month. You need time for just the two of you to reconnect and remember why you chose each other as husband and wife. Spend your date night talking about fun subjects, current events, memories and things that make you smile and laugh and stay away from discussing issues and concerns. Save that for your weekly "talk" session.

Tip #4: Time Out for You Not Baby

Believe it or not, a little time away from your spouse can actually strengthen your relationship. Give each other some freedom and agree that you each will get one night out every week to do what you want. Many times parents get frustrated because they lose a little of themselves after the baby is born and that's why time out with friends is very important. It not only rejuvenates the soul, but gives you something, besides the baby, to talk about with your spouse when you get home. Having a weekly night out also gives you something to look forward to and keeps you connected to the outside world so that you don't get consumed by "EVERYTHING BABY!" If you feel more refreshed and connected you'll be in a happier state around your spouse, creating a happier relationship all around.

Tip #5: A Little Compassion Can go a Long Way

Remember that your spouse is a new parent too and is feeling all of the same anxious and overwhelmed feelings that you are. Be on each other's side. Have compassion if you see your spouse getting frustrated when your baby is crying. Have compassion if your spouse is exhausted because of late night feedings. Have compassion when your spouse is showing general signs of irritability and seems cranky. Remember, it's not really YOU that your spouse is frustrated with it's the new parenting responsibilities that are causing anxiety and frustration. If you work together as parents, understanding that you both share the same anxieties, then you'll stay connected as parents and husband and wife and your baby will grow up in a happy home.

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